Favicon

Addiction

Burnout

Wellbeing

Most Christians likely aspire to have a family that serves the Lord and reaps the benefits of living in His kingdom, i.e., a godly family. However, due to our imperfections, we sometimes make mistakes and do not always succeed in building such a family. Nevertheless, God wants to bless you with a godly family. He wants His heavenly will done on earth as well as in your life. Even if you are the only believer in your family, God wants to use you to bring the light and life of the Gospel to your loved ones.

Here are ten ways to build a godly family:

Become part of God’s family first

Building a godly family starts with God. You have to become a part of His family before you can cultivate a godly family. You become a part of His family when you accept Christ as your Saviour. Thereafter, He calls you His child, making God the Father your father too. The Spirit of His Son Jesus Christ, comes to live within you.

God loves His children and looks after them well. They are loved, taught, blessed, cared for, and disciplined by the best father ever. Allow God to father you as you experience being part of a healthy heavenly family.

‘But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. ‘

John 1:12 NLT

Bind wisdom around your neck

The book of Proverbs says that wisdom is worth more than precious stones. This means that it is more valuable than money or success! If you seek it with all your whole heart, you will become spiritually wealthy. Discovering wisdom involves finding out God’s intent for you as a husband, wife, parent, or child.
Embracing wisdom in your life means adopting a humble attitude and allowing God to correct you. At times, His Word may cut deep, but it will always bring life.

‘2 Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding…
4 search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.’

Proverbs 2: 2,4 NLT

Learn to love

As a child of God, you are loved. You model God’s love by loving as He does. Applying this means adopting a loving attitude, from which kindness flows out in serving actions. A family is an ideal setting for relationships based on mutual giving and receiving, and an even better place to learn unconditional love.
Loving others as Christ loved us means giving even when it hurts. However, this does not mean allowing continual abuse and mistreatment without taking appropriate action.
Giving of yourself usually sets a positive cycle in motion, creating safety and building trust. Set out to love your family members.

‘Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. ‘

1 John 4: 7-8

Repair the pain

First, assess the level of injury you caused, acknowledge your fault, humbly ask for forgiveness from the Lord and your family, and seek help to prevent from repeating your mistake. Make an effort to listen to others and validate their pain.
Explore the reasons behind your actions and find better ways to manage your emotions, needs, and differences. Acknowledge that sometimes others have a role to play in your mistake, but avoid blaming or playing the victim. Instead, take ownership of your share and responsibly address their share of the problem.

‘Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” ‘

Luke 19:8

Give your time

Time is in demand which is why it is difficult to give away. However, if you want a godly family, you will need to invest this commodity in them too, even though life can be busy and demanding. This investment yields long-term results.
Give your full attention when you give of your time. Attentive time leads to bonding and this fosters closeness. Give all sorts of time – short bursts and long appointments. Do stuff together. Try to be creative. If others reject your attempts, keep on trying.

‘Then Jesus and his disciples left Jerusalem and went into the Judean countryside. Jesus spent some time with them there, baptizing people. ‘

John 3:22

Pray for your family

Praying for your family is a powerful weapon of love and support. Find out what each family member needs and start praying for them individually. Your prayer should focus on God’s will for their lives. It is critical to ask the Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus, to bring His heavenly kingdom into their thoughts and actions.
Use the prayers of Paul as guidance. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill each family member and lead them to live surrendered lives, flooded with the revelation of the love of God. To be in love with the Lord is the best place anyone can be!
Use God’s Word during prayer, and don’t forget to pray for yourself as well. When you regularly pray for your family and follow it up with genuine love, you can expect to see wonderful results.

‘So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. ‘

Colossians 1:9

Eat the Word together

When Jesus told Satan, “Man shall not live from bread alone but by every word of God,” He emphasised how much we need the Word of God on a regular basis for our spiritual survival. I love earthly bread, and would want to eat it daily without that nagging ’frontal expansion’ problem.
However, when the Holy Spirit breaks open the Word to you, it is only a blessing. You will not get bloated, but you will become spiritually healthy! Regularly feasting on the living Word gives you something to share with your family.
Take time to read the Word together and share insights with each other.

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up’‘

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7

Invest in the marriage

Someone once said, ‘The greatest gift you can give your children is to love your spouse’. This offers several benefits to all, such as an emotionally secure home and the joy and beauty of two parents who are in love with one another!
Living a life of love is challenging, but the alternative—not loving—is even harder. Studying your spouse, giving your commitment, time and energy to meet their needs with zest will definitely draw you closer. When children witness fallible Christian parents working at loving one another, it brings to life the message of the gospel.

‘So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’

Ephesians 5:33

Train your children

Training your children is different from simply giving orders. It is an involved activity that includes one-on-one actions such as teaching, showing, and guiding. It involves patience because it requires multiple attempts at learning over the long-term, but it can reap generous results. It is quite similar to the discipleship Jesus offered His followers.
God joins us in the parenting effort and helps us teach our children through the Word and the body of Christ. While you can train your child in everything that you know, it’s also beneficial to involve other Christians to help teach your children various skills and knowledge. Our combined efforts are tremendous, and will certainly have an impact on forming godly children.

‘Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it. ‘

Proverbs 22:6 Amp

Serving others together

When you are a family, you are also a team. Find a mission field where your family can serve together and share your spiritual gifts, skills, and talents. This exposes your children to the truth and power of the gospel, and it also shifts your perspective to value other people and invest in eternal things.

As you know, the world is in desperate need of the love and message of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and your family can do something together to make a difference. You can reach your immediate environment or venture to a distant land. This way, you all get to experience the joy of giving and obeying the Lord’s command.

3 For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. 14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbour as yourself.”

Galatians 5: 13-14

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to visit our website (www.mattersofthesoul.org) or follow us on the socials for hundreds of free videos and other inspiring content.

Matters of the Soul is an Article 18A non-profit organisation registered in South Africa.

If you want to contribute financially to enable our work and receive a tax deductible certificate, please email mickey@mattersofthesoul.org or go to Get involved