ARTICLES
Develop, Restore, EmpowerWatch
Latest Articles
When Conflict Happens: Learning to “Fight Fairly” in Marriage
By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Conflict in marriage is inevitable. When two people share their lives, with different personalities, expectations, and sensitivities, moments of tension will arise. This is not a failure of the relationship. It is part of the...
Communication Is the Relationship
By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Do you want a relationship that is close, works well and is full of understanding, support and fun? Let’s look at one of the key components to this – communication. It is one of the most spoken about topics in relationships....
How to Respond to Depression: Practical Steps – Part 2
By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Introduction Understanding depression is an important starting point. However, understanding alone is not enough. The next question is practical: how should one respond to it? Depression affects motivation, energy, thinking,...
What Causes Depression? A Clinical and Christian Perspective
By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Introduction Depression is one of the most widely experienced, yet often misunderstood, human struggles. Most people have some awareness of what depression looks like. We recognise it in others. We may have experienced aspects...
When Life Feels Too Heavy: Understanding Suicide, Despair, and Hope
By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Introduction Suicide is one of the most difficult and painful realities to face. It is not a distant issue. It touches families, churches, leaders, and individuals in deeply personal ways. Many people, at some point in their...
When Christians Experience Suffering
A Christian perspective on suffering, faith, and emotional resilience By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Trauma is one of the most difficult experiences a person can endure. It overwhelms our normal coping mechanisms and often shakes many of the assumptions we...
Understanding Traumatic Experiences
By Erich Schoeman | Clinical Psychologist Trauma is something most of us will encounter in some form during our lifetime. Not every day. Not constantly. But at some point in our lives, something happens that shakes us, something that unsettles our sense of safety,...
10 Thoughts on Christian Marriage and Sexual Intimacy
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist | Trainer | Speaker) Matters of the Soul Sex is one of the most powerful and misunderstood aspects of Christian marriage. Culturally, we are fed two dominant narratives. The first says that passionate, exciting sex belongs to...
Steps for healing after an affair
written by Christian Clinical Psychologist Erich Schoeman A Step-by-Step Guide for Christian Couples Infidelity is a devastating breach of trust, but it doesn’t have to be the end of a marriage. With humility, truth, and grace, couples can walk a path of healing. This...
Restoration after an affair
RESTORATION AFTER AN AFFAIR A Christian Psychology Perspective By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Trainer & Speaker) Matters of the Soul/Sake van die Siel (www.mattersofthesoul.org) “Sandy is still shaken up. It feels like her world has turned upside down....
Grief and Loss – Two parts of the same coin
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim” -Vicki Harrison Loss is an unavoidable part of life and grief is the natural response to loss and part of the...
Healing After Abortion
By Erich Schoeman(Clinical Psychologist, Speaker, Trainer, Writer) 5 min read “I’m a bad person!” Lizzy thought to herself after seeing another mother caress her baby at the mall. This thought had crossed her mind countless times over the last two years. Each time,...
10 Thoughts on Perfectionism with helpful Inputs
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Trainer & Speaker) Matters of the Soul (www.mattersofthesoul.org or www.sakevdsiel.org) 12 minute read Many of us take pride in doing things well and have an aversion to making mistakes or falling short. We want things to...
Navigating the Turbulent Waters of Adolescence
Created by Erich Schoeman, Clinical Psychologist, Matters of the Soul/Sake van die Siel Disclosure: Several artificial intelligence programs were used in the process of researching and story writing this chapter (ChatGPT, Co-pilot, Gemini). It’s just after seven in...
10 Christian Thoughts on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity – for teens –
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Trainer & Speaker) Matters of the Soul (www.mattersofthesoul.org or www.sakevdsiel.org) Christian Psychology Ministry 9 minute read Confusion about your gender identity or sexual orientation is a genuine struggle for some...
Words from a father to a teen about sex and pornography
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Speaker and Trainer, Father of two), Matters of the Soul (www.mattersofthesoul.org or www.sakevdsiel.org) 6 - 7 minute read Have you ever heard of the Trojan Horse? Homer mentioned it in his book, The Odyssey, written about...
Functional vs Dysfunctional Families
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Trainer & Speaker) Matters of the Soul (www.mattersofthesoul.org or www.sakevdsiel.org) Christian Psychology Ministry God wants to bless us with families that reflect Him in all ways. Following His will typically leads to...
10 Ways to have a godly family
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Trainer & Speaker) Matters of the Soul (www.mattersofthesoul.org or www.sakevdsiel.org) Christian Psychology Ministry Most Christians likely aspire to have a family that serves the Lord and reaps the benefits of living in...
10 Thoughts of overcoming fear
By Erich Schoeman (Clinical Psychologist; Trainer & Speaker) Matters of the Soul (www.mattersofthesoul.org or www.sakevdsiel.org) Christian Psychology Ministry Fear is something that all of us face at some point in our lives. From fear of failure, not having...
10 Signs and solutions to eating issues
Most people enjoy food, and some consider themselves to be “foodies”, loving the different tastes and flavours of various foods. Yet for others, food becomes more of a foe than a friend or at best a troubled friend. Their relationship to food, their bodies and weight...
What is anxiety and how to manage it
What is Worry? Worry, stress, fear and panic are words that have different technical meanings but are often used interchangeably to describe a common condition that have globally reached epidemic proportions. Anxiety. While fear is a response to a direct threat,...
The key to Wellness – Unlock God’s promise for PEACE
Jeremiah 17:9-10 "The heart is deceitful above all things and it is extremely sick; Who can understand it fully and know its secret motives? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his...
10 thoughts about addiction
4 - 5 minute read We have all been addicted to something or someone in our lives. It does not have to be hardcore drugs, it could be something as every day as coffee or smartphones. Here are 10 interesting thoughts about addiction: 1. Ancient definition The term...
10 signs of burnout with 10 solutions
Burnout is something that is akin to this generation and close to my own heart. Several years ago I started my clinical practice, full of vigour and at an alarming pace. Slowly my emotional and physical resources were waning. After a few years of self-neglect, I...
This leads to emotional well-being.
We need to receive love from before birth. To receive love is very important to our emotional and psychological well-being. Research shows that the strong, caring attachments to our caregivers from an early age assists us in developing a sense of confidence and...
10 ways God defeats our worry
Following on from my previous article, 10 ways to defeat worry, here are 10 ways that the Lord breaks the worrying cycle in our lives. The gospel is about a person who is alive and well today. Jesus Christ was resurrected from death and is presently at God the...
10 ways to defeat worry
To be worried about life is very common. These days most of us face additional reasons to give in to worry as we are faced with a global health crisis that has serious implications on everyday life. Some people’s financial situations have now escalated to panic...
How to cause fights about needs
In looking at how to discuss your needs in marriage (see….), we looked at 10 steps on how to do it effectively. There is however much to be learned from the wisdom of how NOT to do it. It could save you a lot of trouble and fighting. Here follows a satirical look...
10 steps on how to discuss needs in marriage
Couples relationships are all about needs. Needs for love, affection, sex, help with the kids, encouragement, listening etc. Needs not met, half met or never met at all lead to all kinds of dilemmas. One of the reasons we marry is because we admire something in the...