Why Marriage

1 Peter 2: 4-7 4 Come to Him [then, to that] Living Stone which men [a]tried and threw away, but which is chosen [and] precious in God’s sight. 5 [Come] and, like living stones, be yourselves built [into] a spiritual house, for a holy (dedicated, consecrated) priesthood, to offer up [those] spiritual sacrifices [that are] acceptable and pleasing to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For thus it stands in Scripture: Behold, I am laying in Zion a chosen ([b]honored), precious chief Cornerstone, and he who believes in Him [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him] shall never be [c]disappointed or put to shame. 7 To you then who believe (who adhere to, trust in, and rely on Him) is the preciousness; but for those who disbelieve [it is true], The [very] Stone which the builders rejected has become the main Cornerstone,

In the passage above Peter tells us how we, as believers in Jesus Christ, will be rejected by the world for following Him, but that we will be precious in the sight of God. We will become living stones in His building.

Now you may say that this has nothing to do with marriage but the Lord used this very passage to teach me the whole reason for marriage. Being the over thinker that I am, and working in counselling, my mind went straight to a problem I saw in this beautiful promise the Lord gives us: When we receive rejection from those around us, how will we be able to really grasp this promise and hold on to this?

Let me explain. From psychology we know that our self-worth and perceptions are influenced by what we receive from those around us. You know, like that day you loved your new look and someone looked at you in a weird way? You immediately started to wonder if you were indeed rocking it the way you thought.

So, if people reject you, how on earth are you supposed to believe that the Almighty God Himself sees you as precious?

You might say, because the Bible says so. That is true but, while I admire your approach, I often feel like I need more confirmation.

​I really struggle with making the Lord's promises my own. And so while I was sitting in my room struggling with the Lord He gave me one sentence: That is what your spouse is for.

What?? It suddenly became clear to me why I needed my spouse so desperately (and vice versa). You see, the Lord knows that we are human and that we struggle to really stand on His promises, so He gave us a little bit of those promises on earth in the form of our husbands.

The world rejects me, but I am a cornerstone in my husband's life. The world tells me I'm not good enough, he tells: me you are more than enough. The world tells me you don't have the right look; he tells me: you are perfect.

It's a miniature version, if you will, of God's relationship with His children. In the same way a wife submits to her husband, we submit to the Lord, and in the same way a husband honors his wife, God honors us. This was something that I knew but I never thought about applying it in this way.

I am so excited about this idea! And while I know that the reality of our world is one of unhappy marriages, this gives me hope. Our spouses are important. Our roles in our marriages are important. We need to be their cornerstones who keep them upright on our knees. Marriages matter and that is why we need to keep fighting for them every day.

​Monique Steenkamp