Created by Erich Schoeman, Clinical Psychologist, Matters of the Soul/Sake van die Siel
Disclosure: Several artificial intelligence programs were used in the process of researching and story writing this chapter (ChatGPT, Co-pilot, Gemini).
It’s just after seven in the morning of middle January, and the sun is already shining warmly on the high school assembly square where groups of teenagers are congregating. Their laughter was a mix of confidence and uncertainty. Among them, Jenna stood slightly apart, a feeling of being out of place settling over her like a heavy blanket. At thirteen, she was still transitioning from the innocent world of childhood into the complex realities of adolescence. Each day seemed to present a new challenge, and today was no different. Jenna’s heart raced as she overheard snippets of conversations filled with slang, references to parties, and jokes that flew over her head. She glanced at her best friend, Mia, who seemed perfectly at ease, her laughter bright and infectious. But Jenna felt the weight of expectation pressing on her—an expectation to fit in, to understand the unspoken rules of this new world. The adolescent years were often filled with an array of intense emotions, and navigating them required both wisdom and courage.
The Pressure of Popularity
As Jenna and Mia walked into the school, they passed by a group of older students, their phones out, scrolling through social media. The allure of likes and followers consumed so many around her. Jenna had recently opened her own account, drawn by the desire to connect but also by an anxiety that gnawed at her—what if she didn’t measure up? The digital realm could be a double-edged sword; it was a place for connection but also a breeding ground for comparison and self-doubt. Christian teachings often emphasise the importance of identity in Christ, but as a young teenager, it was difficult for Jenna to hold onto that truth amidst the clamour of cultural influences. The idea of being “enough” began to feel tied to how others perceived her online, leading her down a path of self-scrutiny. She remembered a sermon her youth pastor had given about the dangers of letting external validation shape one’s worth, but in moments like these, that message felt distant, almost abstract.
Intervention:
Teenagers grapple with questions like “Who am I?” and “Where do I fit in?”. This search for identity can lead to confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt and lead to them making compromises to fit in. A possible solution would be to encourage self-exploration through hobbies, interests, and positive, Christ-like peer relationships.
From a Christian perspective, Jenna’s struggle with acceptance from friends and social media pressures can be addressed by first listening to her emotions, even if they might be totally opposite to reality. This provides a safe space for self-discovery. She needs encouragement to find her identity in Christ rather than in the fluctuating approval of others. Scriptures like John 3:16 reminds her of how valuable she is to God since He gave her His only Son, Jesus Christ, to save her.
Ephesians 2:10 reminds her that she is God’s masterpiece in Christ (“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago”). In Galatians 1:10, Paul models his motive to seek God’s approval rather than man’s. This helps her see that God’s perspective of her is more important than that of her friends. (“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?”). 1 John 4:9 offers hope by reminding her that God’s love for her is unconditional and unwavering.
(“God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him”).
A practical intervention could involve helping Jenna set healthy boundaries with social media in terms of what she watches, when, and how much. Encouraging her to take regular breaks and reflect on how her online interactions are affecting her self-worth, could help her discern truth from lies.
In Christian psychology, this might include journaling about moments when she feels God’s approval and love, reinforcing that her value comes from being created in God’s image ( see Genesis 1:27). A mentor could also help her identify when comparison is creeping in, helping her refocus on gratitude and her God-given worth.
The Reality of Puberty
The physical changes of puberty were another layer of complexity. Jenna found herself grappling with body image issues, particularly after a summer of growth spurts that left her feeling awkward and uncomfortable in her own skin. She watched her peers, some more developed than others, and felt a pang of jealousy mixed with insecurity. The pressure to conform to societal beauty standards was relentless. At a recent youth group meeting, they discussed the importance of seeing oneself through God’s eyes. The pastor had said, “You are wonderfully made.” But Jenna struggled to internalise that message when she looked in the mirror and saw someone she didn’t quite recognise. This was the reality of adolescence: a time when self-image could swing wildly, influenced by both personal experiences and societal expectations.
Intervention:
Body image struggles during puberty can be profoundly discouraging, but the Bible brings hope through the truth that, as Christians, our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (see 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Jenna can be encouraged to view her body through a lens of stewardship and gratitude, knowing it’s a gift from God meant to be cherished, not compared.
An intervention might involve positive affirmations based on Psalm 139:14, which declares that she is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” She could start the practice of writing down the ways she appreciates her body’s abilities rather than its appearance, fostering a mindset of health and self-care over self-criticism. Encouraging Jenna to surround herself with uplifting, God-centred friendships that reflect biblical values of beauty and worth can also help her combat societal pressures.
Friendships and Betrayals
Friendship dynamics shifted with dizzying speed during these years. One week, Mia was her closest confidante; the next, Jenna found herself excluded from conversations. Gossip spread like wildfire, and she often felt like a pawn in a social game she didn’t want to play. Jenna’s faith provided a framework for how to treat others, emphasising love, forgiveness, and kindness, but the realities of teenage social hierarchies often made it tough to practice these principles. One day, Jenna overheard a group of girls discussing the latest trends in drugs and partying, accompanied by a flurry of hashtags promoting “freedom” and “living life to the fullest.” It stirred something in her—a mix of curiosity and dread. She remembered a discussion at church about the consequences of substance use, framed in the context of stewardship of the body God had given her. Still, the fear of missing out gnawed at her, whispering that perhaps these experiences were part of what it meant to be a teenager.
Intervention:
The ebb and flow of adolescent friendships can be painful, but Christian psychology emphasises forgiveness and understanding. Jenna’s faith offers a model of relationships based on Ephesians 4:32, which encourages her to be “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”.
An intervention could involve Jenna seeking guidance in prayer when conflicts arise, asking God for wisdom to respond with love rather than retaliation. A trusted Christian counsellor or mentor could also help her develop conflict-resolution skills grounded in biblical principles of peace and reconciliation (see Matthew 5:9). Furthermore, encouraging her to set boundaries with friends who may lead her astray while still loving them from a distance can help Jenna navigate the complexities of social dynamics without compromising her values.
The Shadow of Pornography and sex
Conversations at school shifted to more explicit topics, including the normalisation of pornography and casual sex as part of adolescence. Jenna had stumbled upon this world by accident, a friend casually mentioning a website and a recent sexual encounter she had in a conversation. The shock of it had left her reeling, and despite her best efforts, curiosity crept in. The struggle was real; the tension between curiosity and her Christian values weighed heavily on her. Jenna remembered the scripture that warned against lust and the damaging impact of viewing others as mere objects of desire. Yet, the pervasive culture surrounding her painted a different picture—one that glamorised promiscuity and diminished the value of relationships built on trust and respect within God’s ways. The challenge was not just resisting temptation; it was about forming a coherent identity amidst a barrage of conflicting messages.
Finally Jenna gave in and watched a few porn videos with her friends. The images bombarded her mind and left her feeling a mixture of excitement, pleasure, shame and guilt. She shot up a quick prayer “I am so sorry Lord!” but did not know if that was enough.
Intervention:
Pornography and casual premarital sex are particularly challenging issues, prematurely exposing teenagers to ungodly forms of sex and degrading the meaning and purpose of it. Yet the Bible offers hope through the promise of renewal and healing. Romans 12:2 encourages Jenna to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Jenna can learn to redirect her thoughts toward purity by focussing on God’s design for relationships and sexuality, based on respect, love, and commitment.
Confirming to Jenna that she is experiencing normal, sexual feelings and attractions as part of puberty will help her to understand herself. Teaching her why God set the boundaries of sex to only be between a husband and wife will help her manage those feelings and understand herself better.
Seeing marriage as only between a man and a woman and as a covenant relationship, or a contract ending in death, will help her value it. This lifelong bond reflects the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. It is an intricately set apart relationship where loving spiritual intimacy is only between Christ and his people, with no other idols or false gods involved. Sex then mirrors this sacred intimacy and displays it as set apart, or holy. When sex takes place outside these boundaries, even if it is before marriage, it violates this sacred contract.
Jenna should learn about her identity in Christ as a righteous, holy person in the Lord. Therefore, she already died with Christ to sin and rose with Him to live out holiness. She can rely on His Holy Spirit to help her flee temptation. To alleviate the guilt and shame, she needs to learn of the value of confession (telling God about her sin) and repentance (turning wholeheartedly back to the Lord and His truth). Reminders of her stand before God as a holy and beloved child of God in Christ would empower her to walk in His authority.
Another intervention could include Jenna working with a mentor or counsellor to develop coping strategies when temptation arises, such as prayer, engaging in fulfilling activities, or accountability with trusted Christian friends. Introducing her to resources that explain the impact of pornography and premarital sex on mental health and relationships through a biblical lens could strengthen her resolve to resist. Regularly meditating on scripture, like Philippians 4:8, which encourages thinking on “whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable,” can help Jenna reshape her thoughts.
If Jenna is encouraged to keep a long-term view of purity, that she is withholding herself for her future husband and loving God, herself, and her husband in the process, it will help her resist when temptation knocks loudly on her door.
Finding Community and Support
Being a Christian in school is sometimes a lonely journey for Jenna. She feels alone in her faith walk and is surrounded by either lukewarm Christians or people who openly resist her faith and talk with cynicism about Jesus and the Bible. Once she spoke up and gave a Biblical view of sexual orientation when someone talked about how positive gay relationships are, and she was immediately heavily criticised by some girls and boys and called a homophobic, judgemental bully. She got such a shock and withdrew from them.
Intervention:
This conflict, coupled by Jenna’s attempt to navigate the tumult of the teenage years in general, was overwhelming. Jenna went to the Lord in prayer, and eventually she found solace in her church’s youth group. The discussions, led by relatable mentors, offered a safe space to explore her feelings and questions without judgement. They tackled the challenges of growing up, discussing everything from mental health to peer pressure, all through a lens that sought to honour God. One evening, they engaged in a deep conversation about “woke culture” and the complexities of social justice and the LGBTQAI+ from a Christian perspective. Jenna listened intently as her peers shared their views, grappling with the balance of love, truth, and justice. It provided her with tools to engage thoughtfully with the world around her, grounding her identity in Christ while also encouraging compassion for those struggling with their own battles. She learnt to show kindness to those struggling with these without compromising Biblical truth on sexual orientation as being heterosexual and gender identity as a man and a woman.
Jenna’s involvement in her church youth group is a critical source of support, and Christian psychology recognises the value of community in spiritual and emotional growth. Hebrews 10:24–25 speaks to the importance of encouraging one another, especially during difficult times.
An intervention could involve Jenna seeking out deeper, one-on-one mentorship within the group, someone she can talk to about specific struggles. Being part of a small prayer group or Bible study might also give her a space to voice her concerns and receive biblical counsel in return. Christian psychologists often emphasise the power of shared experiences, helping her realise she’s not alone in her journey. It could also be helpful to organise service projects that allow her to focus outward, using her energy to help others while grounding her identity in Christ’s mission of love.
The Pressure to Perform Academically
As the school year progressed, the pressure to succeed academically weighed heavily on Jenna’s mind. Her teachers often emphasised the importance of excellent marks, university applications, and the need to stand out in a competitive world. The hallways were filled with learners comparing test results, discussing their future career plans, and swapping study strategies. It seemed like everyone had their life mapped out, and Jenna found herself falling into a cycle of anxiety, wondering if she was doing enough.
Her parents, though supportive, also held high expectations for her future. “You need to work hard now so you can have a great life later,” they often reminded her, their voices filled with both encouragement and unintentional pressure. Jenna started spending more time in her room, hunching over textbooks and notes, but no matter how hard she studied, the fear of failure loomed over her. What if she didn’t get into university? What if she wasn’t clever enough? What if her hard work didn’t pay off?
The weight of perfectionism began to creep into her thoughts. She felt as if her value was tied to her performance, and with every mistake or lower-than-expected mark, the voice in her head told her she was falling short. It wasn’t just about making her family proud anymore; it was about proving her worth in a world that seemed to only measure success by achievements.
Intervention:
The academic pressure Jenna faces is not uncommon for teenagers today, but Christian psychology offers a framework for viewing success and performance that is rooted in grace rather than perfection. One foundational scripture is Colossians 3:23, which teaches, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” This verse encourages Jenna to shift her focus from seeking approval from others—whether her parents, teachers, or peers—and instead view her efforts as an act of worship and service to God.
A helpful intervention would be guiding Jenna to understand that her worth is not based on her school marks or academic achievements but on her identity as a child of God. A Christian psychologist or mentor could work with Jenna to reframe her mindset about success. This could involve the practice of grace-based goal setting, where instead of setting goals to meet societal or external expectations, Jenna sets goals that honour God’s design for her life, embracing the idea that she is loved and valued regardless of her achievements.
To manage her academic stress, Jenna can be introduced to mindfulness practices within a Christian context. This could include meditative prayer, where she spends time in silence, listening for God’s voice, and finding peace in His presence. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Jenna can learn to take her academic worries to God in prayer, asking for His guidance, wisdom, and peace as she navigates her studies.
An additional intervention could focus on teaching Jenna practical time management skills through a spiritual lens. By encouraging her to view time as a gift from God, she can learn to balance her studies, rest, and spiritual life, knowing that overworking or striving for perfection doesn’t align with God’s design for human flourishing. Using scriptures like Psalm 127:2 (“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves”), Jenna can be reminded that rest is part of God’s plan, and burning out in the pursuit of success is not His will for her.
Failure, or perceived failure, can feel overwhelming for someone under constant academic pressure, but Christian psychology offers a different narrative. Jenna can be encouraged to see setbacks as opportunities for growth, not as reflections of her identity or worth. The story of Peter’s denial and later restoration by Jesus in John 21:15–19 can provide a powerful example of how failure is not final and that grace is available to her even when she feels like she’s falling short. A Christian psychologist or counsellor could help her develop resilience, teaching her to trust in God’s plan even when things don’t go according to her expectations.
In summary, the pressures Jenna feels to perform academically are real, but through a Biblical approach, she can be reminded that her identity is secure in Christ. By reframing her goals, focusing on gratitude, and seeking support from her youth group, Jenna can learn to navigate academic challenges with a sense of peace, purpose, and trust in God’s plan for her life.
The Path Forward
As she lay in bed that night, Jenna reflected on the myriad challenges she faced. The journey through adolescence was daunting, filled with uncertainty and heartache, yet it was also a time of profound growth. With each trial, she was learning more about who she was, what she valued, and how her faith could guide her. Embracing her identity as a beloved child of God, Jenna began to see her challenges not just as obstacles but as opportunities for growth and understanding. With her faith as her anchor, she felt more equipped to face the turbulent waters of adolescence. Though the path ahead remained fraught with challenges, she knew she wouldn’t have to walk it alone.
Intervention
Jenna is already beginning to understand the growth that comes from challenges. The Bible encourages resilience through the lens of faith, recognising that trials refine character and lead to spiritual maturity. James 1:2-4 tells us to “consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials… because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
An intervention here would involve Jenna reflecting on her experiences through a biblical framework, helping her see how God is shaping her through each challenge to become more like Jesus. She could start a gratitude journal specifically focused on how God has been present in her struggles, turning obstacles into learning opportunities. Encouraging her to maintain a daily habit of reading scripture and prayer can keep her grounded and hopeful, providing spiritual resilience for the ongoing journey.
Conclusion
Through each of these interventions, Jenna can embrace the truth that her identity, worth, and strength are rooted in Christ. By aligning her emotional, relational, and spiritual life with God’s love and promises, she can navigate adolescence with confidence and hope.